Out of character posting.
I've spent over two weeks thinking about this. I'm slow, it's my nature.
People take communication for granted. It's something every day humans do every day. Talk. Type. Argue. Laugh.
People take creation for granted. It's in the clothes you wear, the color of your car. The music you listen to. The words you write. Even the little tag that shows up next to your words on a page that you call your name. For others, it goes further, it's the story you tell, the pictures you draw, the notes you play.
People take participation for granted. Throwing the ball, catching the game. Singing the song, being the chorus. Lining up the shot, keeping on the move.
It's hard, trying to take part in these things, if you aren't like the others. Barriers to entry, obstacles to belonging.
I've been looking for a group to call home ever since I discovered San Paro, but I don't work on the same timescales that others do. Some things I need to do quickly, or not at all; a response is needed now, not tomorrow. Others are glacial, requiring days or weeks when others need minutes or hours.
I want to create. I want to tell stories, I want to make art. But things get harder when your mind works differently. The forum medium is jarring to me, and the in-game interaction is geared towards the action, not the notion. For things such as appearance, creativity has no bounds, and thus no scaffolding on which to build.
I want to share in adventures, engage in battles. But my reflexes are poor, and I need time to adapt, to assimilate. I need information to analyze, which is in short supply. I don't know where to run, I have trouble aiming. I don't know what to use, or why.
I keep looking at other groups, and they are formed around expectations of performance. Requirements of participation.
I cannot be the person they require of their membership. I'm not sure I can be what is desired here, but I'm hoping that I can find a framework around which to participate. Seeds of creation. Other people's ideas can be a stepping stone to ideas of my own, and the expression thereof.
I can't tell a story yet, and I can't draw you a picture. I even have trouble creating an identity for my avatar within San Paro.
But I hope I can provide a perspective, at least on some things. I can provide a presence.
And just maybe, with the right confluence of factors, I might be able to join in and create.
I've spent over two weeks thinking about this. I'm slow, it's my nature.
People take communication for granted. It's something every day humans do every day. Talk. Type. Argue. Laugh.
People take creation for granted. It's in the clothes you wear, the color of your car. The music you listen to. The words you write. Even the little tag that shows up next to your words on a page that you call your name. For others, it goes further, it's the story you tell, the pictures you draw, the notes you play.
People take participation for granted. Throwing the ball, catching the game. Singing the song, being the chorus. Lining up the shot, keeping on the move.
It's hard, trying to take part in these things, if you aren't like the others. Barriers to entry, obstacles to belonging.
I've been looking for a group to call home ever since I discovered San Paro, but I don't work on the same timescales that others do. Some things I need to do quickly, or not at all; a response is needed now, not tomorrow. Others are glacial, requiring days or weeks when others need minutes or hours.
I want to create. I want to tell stories, I want to make art. But things get harder when your mind works differently. The forum medium is jarring to me, and the in-game interaction is geared towards the action, not the notion. For things such as appearance, creativity has no bounds, and thus no scaffolding on which to build.
I want to share in adventures, engage in battles. But my reflexes are poor, and I need time to adapt, to assimilate. I need information to analyze, which is in short supply. I don't know where to run, I have trouble aiming. I don't know what to use, or why.
I keep looking at other groups, and they are formed around expectations of performance. Requirements of participation.
I cannot be the person they require of their membership. I'm not sure I can be what is desired here, but I'm hoping that I can find a framework around which to participate. Seeds of creation. Other people's ideas can be a stepping stone to ideas of my own, and the expression thereof.
I can't tell a story yet, and I can't draw you a picture. I even have trouble creating an identity for my avatar within San Paro.
But I hope I can provide a perspective, at least on some things. I can provide a presence.
And just maybe, with the right confluence of factors, I might be able to join in and create.
