Cats clean dont mean Cats not mean, childe.
Twas a mistake that took the man here, his usual turn was missed and he must have been driving straight on this wet and rainy road a good mile or so before he realized it. He didnt have one of those new fangled GPS devices that kids all had, and he had a lousy sense of direction that most would call him 'comicly inept' at finding his way. What made matters worse was the loud 'snap hiss' of his tire bursting - causing him to jump and hold on to the wheel for dear life. "How many cliches can we fit into this?!" he cried at the heavens, only to realize he was in the middle of a bad neighborhood. Ka-ching, there goes another. It was late at night and the rain was pouring, the man getting out of his car to look at the damage. Seems he ran over some junkies smack needle, and he didnt plan to stick around to find out whose it was. He got out his multi tool, moving to take the hubcap off when all of the sudden he heard the slinky tune of pink panther playing - causing his head to pop up and look around. He jumped as lightning struck, illuminating the figure on the motor bike beside him - as quiet as a church mouse, simply watching him. "Yeah, thats right, you unscrew that bolt all nice and deep like." Came the ugly and obnoxious sound of what might have been bubba. "Wait, what?" Asked the man, flipping on his torch to look at the figure beside him.
What he saw surprised him. He wasnt really staring at the 'big ol' bubba' like he thought he was, but a short, lithe, girl in what looked to be a torn up wedding dress. Her neon blue lips seemed to glow in the light and her emerald green eyes upset his stomach from all the bright colors coming from her. She brought a hand to her throat and coughed, "Oh. Sorry. Need a lift?" She asked in the sweetest 'hug me' voice the man had ever heard. "Uh...No-I mean yes! I mean..Uh..Please?" Which she replied to him with a nod and a gesture towards he car - "Put your hubcaps, your stereo, and your battery in a bag. Hopefully it wont be stripped for parts in the morning. Someone will probably siphon off your gas, but thats not my problem." which to his astonishment, he managed to find a bag big enough to fit all of them in.
Once he had gotten it all together, he hopped on the back of her bike and she revved it up - his hands moving to rest on her hips when suddenly he recieved a strong elbow to the nose - a wet snap crunch fallowing as they collided. "OHGH GOGE" he screamed and fell back, dangling off the bike - his belt caught on the rear spoiler so that he was being dragged. The rear wheel was resting inbetween his legs when it suddenly burst into motion - the wheel pulling him in as his screams were drowned out by the thunder and the only ones who could hear his lower body snap and gurgle were him. She couldn't hear because she had Beethoven's ninth playing so loud in her ears that he could hear it over the storm.He watched as blood splattered, his legs snapping out to either side before one was ripped off by a nearby sign. The other slammed into an oncoming car, slamming through its windshield and probably impaling the driver with the jagged bone of where he legs met his ankles, the torn trousers still attached. The violence never ended, however - as he was clawing for his dear life at the back of the bike - his nails snapping to the point that his fingers made bloodly streaks against the blue decaled metal. He finally slipped, his hands getting caught inside the bikes wheel making it skid to a halt right in front of a red light. He had long since ceased feeling anything, and was slobbering a mix of blood and spittle on the back of her now crimson wheel. He tried to make a sound, but then the light changed and she revved up - causing the back of the bike to slam into his face, silencing him. She revved again, and his cheeks began to peel back, his jaw snapping out of place, and several teeth bursting from his mouth. She revved again, holding it this time as his face began to be grinded into the cogs and wheel before nothing was left of him but a bloody tie stuck to the wheel.
And then reality hit him and she was staring up at him, poking his belly - "Hey mister, you zoned out there a moment..." Which caused him to look around sleepily before looking down at the young miss. "On second thought, I think I'll fix up the back wheel right now and save you the gas." The girl paused, glancing up at him a moment before shrugging and giving him a mock salute - "Seeya."
In truth, that simple choice saved his life and he would go back home to his wife and kids where he would spend his life in total and complete senseless happiness. If he had went with her, she would have seduced him, gotten him tied to a bed, told him that she was a 'He' and she was going to harvest his organs while he still lived and his death would be twice as gruesome as that of his nightmare.
For she was the Black Widower.
Twas a mistake that took the man here, his usual turn was missed and he must have been driving straight on this wet and rainy road a good mile or so before he realized it. He didnt have one of those new fangled GPS devices that kids all had, and he had a lousy sense of direction that most would call him 'comicly inept' at finding his way. What made matters worse was the loud 'snap hiss' of his tire bursting - causing him to jump and hold on to the wheel for dear life. "How many cliches can we fit into this?!" he cried at the heavens, only to realize he was in the middle of a bad neighborhood. Ka-ching, there goes another. It was late at night and the rain was pouring, the man getting out of his car to look at the damage. Seems he ran over some junkies smack needle, and he didnt plan to stick around to find out whose it was. He got out his multi tool, moving to take the hubcap off when all of the sudden he heard the slinky tune of pink panther playing - causing his head to pop up and look around. He jumped as lightning struck, illuminating the figure on the motor bike beside him - as quiet as a church mouse, simply watching him. "Yeah, thats right, you unscrew that bolt all nice and deep like." Came the ugly and obnoxious sound of what might have been bubba. "Wait, what?" Asked the man, flipping on his torch to look at the figure beside him.
What he saw surprised him. He wasnt really staring at the 'big ol' bubba' like he thought he was, but a short, lithe, girl in what looked to be a torn up wedding dress. Her neon blue lips seemed to glow in the light and her emerald green eyes upset his stomach from all the bright colors coming from her. She brought a hand to her throat and coughed, "Oh. Sorry. Need a lift?" She asked in the sweetest 'hug me' voice the man had ever heard. "Uh...No-I mean yes! I mean..Uh..Please?" Which she replied to him with a nod and a gesture towards he car - "Put your hubcaps, your stereo, and your battery in a bag. Hopefully it wont be stripped for parts in the morning. Someone will probably siphon off your gas, but thats not my problem." which to his astonishment, he managed to find a bag big enough to fit all of them in.
Once he had gotten it all together, he hopped on the back of her bike and she revved it up - his hands moving to rest on her hips when suddenly he recieved a strong elbow to the nose - a wet snap crunch fallowing as they collided. "OHGH GOGE" he screamed and fell back, dangling off the bike - his belt caught on the rear spoiler so that he was being dragged. The rear wheel was resting inbetween his legs when it suddenly burst into motion - the wheel pulling him in as his screams were drowned out by the thunder and the only ones who could hear his lower body snap and gurgle were him. She couldn't hear because she had Beethoven's ninth playing so loud in her ears that he could hear it over the storm.He watched as blood splattered, his legs snapping out to either side before one was ripped off by a nearby sign. The other slammed into an oncoming car, slamming through its windshield and probably impaling the driver with the jagged bone of where he legs met his ankles, the torn trousers still attached. The violence never ended, however - as he was clawing for his dear life at the back of the bike - his nails snapping to the point that his fingers made bloodly streaks against the blue decaled metal. He finally slipped, his hands getting caught inside the bikes wheel making it skid to a halt right in front of a red light. He had long since ceased feeling anything, and was slobbering a mix of blood and spittle on the back of her now crimson wheel. He tried to make a sound, but then the light changed and she revved up - causing the back of the bike to slam into his face, silencing him. She revved again, and his cheeks began to peel back, his jaw snapping out of place, and several teeth bursting from his mouth. She revved again, holding it this time as his face began to be grinded into the cogs and wheel before nothing was left of him but a bloody tie stuck to the wheel.
And then reality hit him and she was staring up at him, poking his belly - "Hey mister, you zoned out there a moment..." Which caused him to look around sleepily before looking down at the young miss. "On second thought, I think I'll fix up the back wheel right now and save you the gas." The girl paused, glancing up at him a moment before shrugging and giving him a mock salute - "Seeya."
In truth, that simple choice saved his life and he would go back home to his wife and kids where he would spend his life in total and complete senseless happiness. If he had went with her, she would have seduced him, gotten him tied to a bed, told him that she was a 'He' and she was going to harvest his organs while he still lived and his death would be twice as gruesome as that of his nightmare.
For she was the Black Widower.
